Parsley
Sage Rosemary & Ginsburg llp
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MEMORANDUM
To:
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Top
10 File
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From:
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Mike
Marget
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Date:
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Re:
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Top
10 Ways to Make Chess More Popular
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In a video-game world, this was inevitable. Accordingto reliable sources, the World Chess Federation is secretly studying ways to
alter the 1,500 year-old rules of the game of chess to make the sport more
appealing to the general public. I can't simply stand on the sidelines while this is happening, so here are my contributions:
Top 10 Ways to Make Chess More Popular
10.
– Free vuvuzela horns for the first 1,000 ticketholders admitted to watch each match.
9. – Lose a piece, down a shot of single malt.
8. – Permit viewers to repeat the accounts and
descriptions of play without the written permission of Major League Chess.
7. – Suspend for one season any coach or player who offers a cash bounty for injuring an opposing team's Bishop.
6. – Frequent TV timeouts so viewers can run
to the kitchen to replenish their beer and chips without missing any of the
action.
5. – More bench-clearing brawls.
4. – Schedule matches opposite hockey games.
3. – Replace the knight pieces with carvings
of those adorable dancing horses from the Olympics.
2. – Settle draws with penalty kicks.
1. – Rename Pawns the “47-percenters.”
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