Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Top 10 Signs Opposing Counsel is from Another Planet

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MEMORANDUM

To:
Top 10 File
From:
Mike Marget
Date:
July 10, 2012
Re:
Top 10 Signs Opposing Counsel is from Another Planet

10. – Facebook profile says he likes “walks on the beach, classical music, and abducting humans for weird medical experiments.”
 9. – Metadata downloaded from his latest court filing reveals the word “Klingon” was deleted 87 times.
 8. – He has a few jillion frequent flyer miles.
 7. – Wants your firm to join him in petitioning the Federation Council to overturn Pluto’s demotion to dwarf planet status.
 6. – After a few drinks, he starts telling jokes starting with the phrase: “You might be from Alpha Centauri if ….”
 5. – He boldly goes where no man has gone before – to see a midnight revival of Sex and the City 2.
 4. – His garage is saucer-shaped.  (Always a dead giveaway.)
 3. – Authorities in Arizona are trying to deport him to Europa.  
 2. – He has Charlie Sheen on speed dial.
 1. – Tells you in confidence that a future Supreme Court decision will unanimously overturn 531 US 98 (2000). 

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